Friday, July 22, 2011


Warning: most of what is in this post will be unpleasant. Some will not be however.
What happened after my lesson on Tuesday July 19 was so momentous it is necessary to devote a seperate post to it. Originally, I thought Sensei was going to be driving his family's car to the dojo and as such might possibly be able to give me a ride home. I told Cindy,the person who drove me, that this was a possibility but not to count on it.
Unfortunately this was not the case and so when class was over I had to call Cindy and ask for a ride. I could tell she was frustrated but so be it. While we were waiting though, Master Eric complemented me on how hard I worked and how well I had done, as well as giving me a stern lecture on not listening to those who doubted my ability to be successful. I commented that money to pay for lessons was another obstacle and he responded by offering me lessons for free. </p>
<p>Shortly after, Cindy and Regan arrived. I noticed they were drunk and began insisting that I be allowed to say goodbye to Blaine. Regan would have none of it, took my weapon out of my hand and grabbed my chair taking me to the car and telling me to get in. When I resisted she again told me to get in the car. Sensei did come over and say goodbye, but I was too scared to rat them out with Regan right there and couldn't find the words to tell him I was in danger. Therefore, they were allowed to drive off with me in the backseat.
The conversation/confrontation that I had to endure when I was on the way home is almost on par with the psychological abuse that my mother subjected me to before I moved out.
First, Cindy kept insisting that Master Eric had hit on her. I quickly refuted that statement as I know all he did was ask if she was interested in joining the class for a week or two. She kept insisting and calling him weird, which grated on me. Then she started in on Sensei, saying she finds our father/cub relationship creepy. I asked why and she began to swear up and down that Sensei had a crush on me. I said that essentially dating him would be the equivalent of fucking my father and she still doesn't get it. Then she and Regan started in on me for needing them to drive me because that meant they couldn't continue drinking. When I explained that Sensei had not driven his car and the friend that did drive him didn't have enough room for me and my chair, they didn't believe me at first, and were saying they wanted to follow him. I dissuaded them from that and then got yelled at for not asking Robbie to drive me. I was told I had "planning issues" and when it became clear I was panicking, Regan asked Cindy what was with my f***ing panic problem.  Cindy responded that I had panicked because Regan was talking to me like "a normal f***ing person and no one has ever done that with her". It also came up that my mother (if one can call her that) is concerned for my safety, considering I work semi-privately with a male tutor five years my senior. Next thing I know I'm being encouraged to look both Sensei and Master Eric up in the National Sex Offender Registry! (Just a side note: Black belts are certified by the International Combat Hapkido Federation. They must pass a criminal background check to receive the belt, since it is this belt level that also allows one to teach the art)

To say I was offended was an understatement and when I tried to make that clear and defend myself the confrontation only got worse. We dropped Regan off at her apartment and continued home. On the way Cindy expressed concern that my training would injure me in some way, said she had spoken with Master Eric about it, and was concerned that they were not certified to work with the physically challenged. At this point I was ome hundred percent completely furious. I'm 21. Its my choice what training I choose to undertake and I am fully cognizant of my limitations. If I ever felt that Sensei or Master Eric was going too far I would speak up.

That entire experience just made me more committed to continuing my journey. I saw my need for mental strength. Also, I should have known that at that time it would have been appropriate to use my training to stop them from ever getting me in that car. Sensei knows what happened and has said if I ever find myself in a similar situation I am well within my rights to use what I know.

Next time I'll make sure I do.


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