New Year, New Beginnings

As I lay here in my warm comfy bed, I can hardly believe that 2011 is coming to a close. This year has been filled with lots of ups and downs and definitely some adventures.

It is in 2011 that I began my study of Hapkido, and this blog along with it. I met my wonderful Sensei and my other instructors and found a surrogate family at Equa Do, waiting with open arms to bring me into the fold. I discovered that I was stronger and capable of learning more quickly than even my instructors predicted. I successfully passed two belt tests, one of which resulting in me gaining approval for a belt to be skipped. And I began my path to becoming an instructor myself.

In 2012 there is so much to look forward to. Next week I will receive my orange belt, and with it higher expectations and plans for a more intense immersive study of Hapkido. A few weeks after that I will reach my next important milestone on my journey to become an instructor, by getting to teach two sessions of the able bodied Hapkido class under the supervision of Sensei and Anthony. There will be more lessons to learn and people to educate and students to teach. And I am looking forward to it.

Wishing you all a happy, safe and blessed New Year.

Misha.

"Formal Training" Week 23

This past Thursday marked my 23rd week of formal training and the last such session before the new year. Equa Do was closed due to the holidays, however the idea of skipping a week of training was causing quite a panic and so Sensei gave me a private lesson at home.

We didn't really do much due to limited access to resources such as mats or training weapons. We went through pretty much my home training routine and then spent some time talking strategy or philosophy.

Once we were done with that, and a short sparring bout, Sensei decided that had been enough training and we just enjoyed the time we had left with each other.

More in the New Year

Misha

Formal Training Week 22

December 22 marked my 22nd week of training at Equa Do and the first of my training hours toward green belt. As the school was technically closed for winter break and it had been by special request that it was opened for me, almost no one was there. It was literally me, Master Markus, Erin, and Sensei.

We were able to warm up and start class a little early as a result and Sensei chose to do so. We warmed up and then took a break so we could eat dinner and give ourselves some energy. Since it was not officially a class night warmups were kept simple and only took roughly five minutes.

When we got back in the training area from eating, Sensei asked me what I felt like working on. Again, without it being a formal class night, Sensei kind of was able to let me have free reign over what it was I wanted to do. I chose knife work. We reviewed the ten point strike, then moved onto using the knife in combat, whether against armed or unarmed assailants. The trick is to never forget you have two hands. The off (unarmed) hand should be used to assist in blocking and manipulating the opponent's body to allow you to strike at the most harmful points rather than simply slashing blindly and hoping it hurts.

I had really been hoping Anthony, one of my original instructors, would be there so that maybe he could give me something new to learn and also see how far I have come since he last worked with me. He originally promised Sensei he would be there but apparently forgot or spaced out because he did not come. This caused most of our remaining time to be eaten up by a severe panic attack and a flare up of my abandonment issues that were caused by my parents.

We did, however, have time to demonstrate my knife and cane work for Master Markus. He deemed it most impressive.

More soon.

Misha

A Special Note for a Special Girl

I am a fond reader of the Chicago Now blog Portrait of an Adoption. Written by Chicagoan and adoptive mom Carrie Goldman it is a tender and honest look into the world of adoption and the many ways it alters and honors traditional family dynamics. I first became aware of the blog after Carrie posted about her daughter Katie, who had been bullied for displaying her love of all things Star Wars at school. Geeks around the globe came together in an outpouring of support to restore Katie's confidence. A geek myself, and a fellow adoptee, I have been wanting to offer Katie a message of support for quite some time, but never really knew how to do it. This past Thursday was the second annual "Wear Star Wars, Share Star Wars" day in support of Katie. Here, a few days late, is the message of support from me I feel this little girl deserves.

Dear Katie,

Hi! My name is Michelle, but my friends call me Misha. You can too, if you want. I've gotten to read all about you on your mommy's blog, and I wanted to write you a letter, telling you just how special I think you are, and maybe share a little bit of my story with you.

I'm 22 years old, but I was adopted when I was little just like you were. I have Cerebral Palsy, a disability that makes it hard for me to walk. Instead, I use a wheelchair. When I was five I had a surgery that made me have to be in a big cast, from under my arms, all the way down to my toes. While I was waiting to get better, my daddy and I watched the original Star Wars trilogy. I loved it, especially Princess Leia. And I was so happy when I found out she was adopted like I was.

But when I went back to school, I started being bullied for being different. People thought I was weird because I had trouble walking, and even weirder for liking the same things boys did. By the time I was ten, I was ready to give up, and be a typical girl. I didn't want to go to school anymore either and I liked school.

I'm really glad I didn't give up. As I got even older I found plenty of friends who liked the same things I did, and saw me for me. Unfortunately, my mommy and daddy weren't as loving and supportive as yours and they became my bullies. I moved out though, and things got a lot better.

I want you to remember that people all over the world care about you, and, like me, think you're pretty awesome. Your determination to train in the ways of the Jedi are an inspiration to me, Katie. I am a martial artist, and I recently tested for my orange belt (third belt). There aren't very many girls who study at the school where I train, but I am proud to be one of them. Martial artists, like the Jedi, protect people from bad guys and help keep the world safe. The school where I train is local, and if you'd ever like to check it out, we would love to have you!

Keep rocking your Star Wars pride and remember there is no one in this world who can tell you who to be or how to act or what to like. That's for you to decide. And whatever you decide to like, I know it will be pretty awesome.

Sincerely,

Misha

PS: Here are some pictures of my Sensei (teacher) and I.

Belt Testing: Yellow/Orange Belt

I took my second belt test on December 15, 2011. Belt testing was a little different this time around. There was a slight mixup with the testing schedule and so belt testing for Hapkido students was carried out during their regularly scheduled class time. I was very nervous when I arrived at Equa Do so Master Markus hung out with me and kept me calm until Erin and Sensei arrived. Erin and Sensei went with me to buy dinner and when we returned, they managed to get me to drink a small cup of soup.

As soon as I was finished it was time for testing to begin. I bowed in, and headed to the corner in which we usually train. I warmed up in the usual way with fifty jumping jacks and plenty of stretching. Then Sensei asked me to come over to the heavy punching bags and demonstrate my strikes. We quickly realized the angle that I was forced to be at because the base of the bag is solid and won't allow me to get close enough, did not work. So instead Sensei put on hand pads and had me demo that way. I was asked to demonstrate: vertical punches, horizontal punches, hook, uppercut, ox jaw strike, backfist, elbow strike, palm strike, knife hand, ridge hand, panther's paw, and thumb gouge. Sensei then set a striking bag on a stool and had me show him tiger's maw, tiger's claw, and eagle's beak.

Then Sensei and Erin demonstrated some techniques for me to replicate. Techniques included were: wrist locks, chokes, brush trap strike, and each of these main techniques combined with a series of strikes aimed at subduing an attacker. After that, Sensei asked to see my cane work. I was asked to demonstrate my eight point strike and some unsequenced strikes at spots on a bag, then expected to defend against unarmed strikes, large shield type objects represented by a large hand pad, a knife, and two sticks similar to the ones used in escrima.

Sensei then had me demonstrate my proficiency in crutch work. He used the large hand pad as a target, holding it vertically on the ground and having me strike where vulnerable points would be. He also tested my knowledge on striking unarmed when necessary while on my crutches, and vulnerability points on the upper body. This section of the test also ended with a short sparring bout. Then we moved to using the crutches while prone. Blocks, strikes, and brush trap strike were all tested.

I was originally told I would not be doing knife work for my test, however Sensei handed me a knife as soon as I was back in my chair. He tested me on my eight point knife sequence, as well as the dagger grip, reverse grip, and standard grip. Then we began sparring, with Sensei armed with a knife as well. The aim was to disarm him if possible or simulate cutting him in ways that would cause him injury and prevent further attack. We sparred for a few moments and then Sensei called a halt, saying I had done very well.

The final portion of my test was verbal question and answer, just as it had been for my white belt test. The questions and answers were as follows.

Why do we study martial arts?
To learn and to grow

What is the duty of a martial artist?
To protect and teach others

What responsibility does a martial artist have toward their community?
To be the everyday hero, so to speak, and help where needed as well as setting a good example for others.

When do we use our gift?
Only in times of great need.

Then Master Eric came over and asked a few questions of his own.

So I hear a rumor you would like to begin to help teach?
Yes.

Why?
Because I believe true knowledge is demonstrated in the ability to pass what one has learned on to others and have it be understood.

So you believe you have something to offer the world?
Yes.

How far do you wish to take this journey?
As far as I can.

He smiled, and asked Sensei how I had done on the various aspects of my test. Sensei said I had done extremely well on all of it, including on material that I had not yet formally studied, and also that he would like to give me an extra credit opportunity. Master Eric agreed.

That's when a full sized wooden board was held in front of me, for me to break. Though I have broken boards before, they have only been about half the size. That said however, they are made of the same material. Even knowing all this, I found myself unable to break the board, no matter if Sensei or Master Eric was holding it. My hand became swollen and bruised after repeated attempts. It was finally Master Eric who came up with a solution. He pointed out that boards of that size are usually laid across cinder blocks and the person attempting the break will use the downward force of their strike to break the board. There was a bit of an issue finding enough cinder blocks to elevate the board to my striking height in my chair, but after a few minutes I was ready to attempt the break again. Apparently, Master Eric wanted a picture of me breaking the board. Unfortunately he didn't exactly warn me, and so as soon as he stepped back from setting the board I smashed through it with a hammer strike.

Everyone signed the board as usual, and when I walked over to receive congratulations from another student, Heidi, it became clear that Miss Linda wished to test me as well. Within seconds she was behind me and had me in a chokehold. I quickly wrenched her arms away from my neck and attempted to put her in a wristlock but she reversed it at the last moment, and I found myself in a wristlock. I twisted free and actually used my body weight to throw myself back into her and catch her off guard. Then I pushed one of her arms away and brought my chair around to the side, striking her ribs and working my other wrist free before putting distance between myself and her, ending the sparring match with another victory. Sensei, Erin, Master Eric, Miss Linda, and her students Heidi and Terri were pleased and surprised to say the least. Finally, I was allowed to bow out but not before the determination was made with regard to my test.

Master Eric and Sensei took me aside and told me...

I DID IT! I PASSED MY TEST AND ALSO SKIPPED THE YELLOW RANKING, MEANING I AM AN ORANGE BELT!

Tiredly yours,

Misha

PS: Attached to this blog are pictures of the board I broke during my test.

The Path

The Path

First
I was carried
Nurtured
Led through the motions
Second
I crawled
Was watched over
Began exploring on my own
Third
I walked hand in hand
Still guided
But sometmes taking
Those few steps ahead
Now
I stand independent
But still supported
Climbing hills
Forging my path
In future
I will guide others
Though their paths will branch from mine
I will help them on their journeys.

I act
With honor
I speak
With respect
I listen
With compassion
I learn
From all around me
I discover
My true strength

The path is long
And though I may grow weary
I am spurred on
By those who have made this pilgrimage before.
Someday I will stand with them
Walking side by side
For this journey is never truly complete.
I know
I am a part of an ancient tradition
One that carries
Honor, Dignity, Respect, and Duty
It is a heavy burden
But one I carry with pride
For I chose the path of the warrior
And I am making it my own.

Lesson plan: Crutches

Lesson Plan-Crutches

Combat Hapkido: Standard Class
Tuesday Evening: Winter Session

Instructor(s): Anthony Rodgers, Blaine Coplon
Assistant Instructor: Misha Golden

Intended student ranking: All

Intended lesson time: 1 hour

Purpose:
1. To demonstrate the adaptation and execution of Combat Hapkido techniques in situations where the martial artist experiences limited physical mobility due to injury or illness.

2. To encourage respect towards and honorable (equal) treatment of all sparring partners or adversaries regardless of outward appearance or percieved ability.

3. To promote awareness of disabled practicioners of martial arts.

Objectives: By the end of this lesson, students will:
- Understand and demonstrate the execution of the six basic strikes and three basic blocks of Combat Hapkido in wheelchairs.
-Be able to manuever on crutches effectively to assist in striking vulnerable points as well as dodging unfriendly blows.

Materials:

Two-three pairs of crutches.
Floor mats for prone work.
Soft targets for strike work if necessary

Technique list:

1. Horizontal punch
2.Vertical punch
3. Palm strike
4. Hook
5. Uppercut
6. Elbow strike
7. Center (brush) block
8. Upward (wing) block
9. Downward (scoop) block
10. Brush-Trap-Strike (prone)

Procedure:

Warmup: Stretches and 50 jumping jacks. Ten repetitions of each desired technique for the night's lesson per side.

Introduction: Misha called up to front/challenged to short sparring match with senior instructor. Sparring match should only incorporate techniques used in warmup. After sparring match students are asked to help identify vulnerable areas Misha struck at.  Emphasis placed on Misha's ability to fight despite physical limitations and that due to injury or illness any martial artist may someday need to do the same.  Use of crutches as extension of the arm should be the focus, as should letting go of one when possible to strike unarmed. Brush trap strike on mat should be demoed. As should striking from prone and the cross block. Crutches held in x shape above body when prone.

Crutches brought out and students paired off to practice techniques, one student per pair on crutches, one standing and with no limitation. Strikes are to be light. If safety is a concern soft targets may be used for strike practice Each student should practice manuvering on crutches for a few minutes before strikes and blocks are incorporated. Balancing on one crutch should be emphasized as well, while other hand is used to strike unarmed.

Misha will circulate and provide feedback on technique execution as well as assistance to those struggling. Senior instructors will supervise for appropriate sparring ettiquite and help where necessary as well.

Wrap-up:

Recap of lesson's core goals. Physical limitations do not constitute less ability, and one can still defend themselves. All adversaries are worthy of respect regardless of ability level. Also include that those who appear physically weaker are at greater risk for becoming targets for those who are up to no good. Suggest practicing strikes leaning heavily on something or holding long stick to simulate crutches when at home. Congratulate students. Bow out.

Evaluation:

Students should be revisiting this method of fighting every few weeks at instructors' discretion and these can be included in the techniques requiring mastery during belt testing if desired.

Lesson prepared for use at Equa Do Martial Arts by Misha Golden. 2011.

Lesson plan: Wheelchairs

Lesson Plan- Wheelchairs

Combat Hapkido: Standard Class
Tuesday Evening: Winter Session

Instructor(s): Anthony Rodgers, Blaine Coplon
Assistant Instructor: Misha Golden

Intended student ranking: All

Intended lesson time: 1 hour.

Purpose:
1. To demonstrate the adaptation and execution of Combat Hapkido techniques in situations where the martial artist experiences limited physical mobility due to injury or illness.

2. To encourage respect towards and honorable (equal) treatment of all sparring partners or adversaries regardless of outward appearance or percieved ability.

3. To promote awareness of disabled practicioners of martial arts.

Objectives: By the end of this lesson, students will:
- Understand and demonstrate the execution of the six basic strikes and three basic blocks of Combat Hapkido in wheelchairs.
-Be able to manuever the wheelchair effectively to assist in striking vulnerable points as well as dodging unfriendly blows.

Materials:

Two-three manual wheelchairs.

Technique list:

1. Horizontal punch
2.Vertical punch
3. Palm strike
4. Hook
5. Uppercut
6. Elbow strike
7. Center (brush) block
8. Upward (wing) block
9. Downward (scoop) block
10. Brush-Trap-Strike

Procedure:

Warmup: Stretches and 50 jumping jacks. Ten repetitions of each desired technique for the night's lesson per side.

Introduction: Misha called up to front/challenged to short sparring match with senior instructor. Sparring match should only incorporate techniques used in warmup. After sparring match students are asked to help identify vulnerable areas Misha struck at.  Emphasis placed on Misha's ability to fight despite physical limitations and that due to injury or illness any martial artist may someday need to do the same.

Wheelchairs brought out and students paired off to practice techniques, one student per pair in chair, one standing and with no limitation. Each student should practice manuvering the chair for a few minutes before strikes and blocks are incorporated.

Misha will circulate and provide feedback on technique execution as well as assistance to those struggling. Senior instructors will supervise for appropriate sparring ettiquite and help where necessary as well.

Wrap-up:

Recap of lesson's core goals. Physical limitations do not constitute less ability, and one can still defend themselves. All adversaries are worthy of respect regardless of ability level. Also include that those who appear physically weaker are at greater risk for becoming targets for those who are up to no good. Suggest practicing strikes sitting to simulate wheelchair when at home. Congratulate students. Bow out.

Evaluation:

Students should be revisiting this method of fighting every few weeks at instructors' discretion and these can be included in the techniques requiring mastery during belt testing if desired.

Lesson plan prepared for use at Equa Do Martial Arts by Misha Golden. 2011.

Lesson plans

A few nights ago I was enjoying my nightly phone call with Sensei when he said he had an idea, and needed my help. The idea that such a talented black belt as Sensei needed my assistance threw me off a little to say the least. But, I played along and asked what he needed.

He revealed that a number of the students that he teaches in the Tuesday class are somewhat unfocused, and the lack of focus almost borders on disrespect. When he teaches a technique, the students generally practice that technique only for as long as he is watching them, beginning to spar the moment his back is turned. I know that this frustrates him, and figured his idea would have something to do with this. And it did, in a way.

He told me the students have been made aware of the other class that he teaches at the school, which of course is my Handicapped Hapkido class on Thursdays, and are curious about how someone who is challenged in the ways Chad and I are can possibly practice Combat Hapkido. He then proposed that he wanted to teach even the able bodied students to fight in wheelchairs and on crutches. When I asked why, Sensei reminded me that anyone has the ability to be injured or sick.

Sensei explained that his dilemma came in knowing how to teach the students who were primarily able bodied how to use chairs and crutches easily. I told him I would be happy to help and he said he needed some sort of proposal to submit to Master Eric. The next day, in response to his request I drafted two lesson plans. One focuses on the use of wheelchairs in Combat Hapkido, the other focuses on using crutches. Both lesson plans have been approved by Master Markus, Master Eric, Anthony, and Sensei. That said I will be posting my completed lesson plans here.

Feedback is much appreciated.

Misha.

Formal Training Week 21

Here is my account of my last week of formal training before my second belt test. From my last post, readers will know I had a rough encounter with one of the Equa Do instructors. The aftermath was so severe, that by the time I had gotten home from training that night, I was refusing to return to the school. Part of my anxiety disorder is characterized by the fact that I have places and people that my brain considers "safe" so to speak. A safe person, such as Sensei, Chad, or Erin is someone that knows about my disorder and can effectively help me during a panic attack or flashback episode.A safe place is probably best described as a place where I feel at relatively low risk to experience panic attacks or flashbacks. The reason, then, that I was unwilling to return, is because for me Equa Do was a safe place up until Miss Linda's simulated "attack".

With much cajoling Sensei convinced me to return, promising to stay nearby the entire night so that a similar training exercise could not occur without his knowledge, and he could call a halt if necessary should one occur. Before I had class again, he also discussed with Miss Linda the effects of what she had done, and elicited an apology.

I returned to Equa Do willingly, but still had not had the best day ahead of that. First, the stress of finals had gotten to me, and secondly Chad was extremely ill and we were unsure as to the cause. Just before leaving school, he let me know his neurologist had advised him to go to the ER and then I had not heard anything between that time and the time I needed to turn my phone off, having arrived at Equa Do. Sensei already knew what was going on, as I had called him from school, and he and Erin arrived shortly after I did. Master Markus was the first one I told about Chad's condition when I was there, but with Sensei and Erin's support I managed to fill everyone in and stay fairly composed. A trip to the Italian restaurant next door to the dojang didn't hurt either.

Class was started with an abbreviated warm up and then strike reps, before Sensei and I resumed working on knife technique. He taught me an additional grip (dagger style) good for stabbing and ripping. Then we continued working on sparring and real time combat with the knife. As we were working, I suddenly heard a soft footstep behind me.

Linda had snuck up on me, and was grappling me again. I immediately responded, wrenching her arms away from my neck, and striking out with the training knife that was in my hand. She noticed the weapon and continued trying to disarm me, but I kept hanging onto it. The distraction of trying to control my knife and get it away from me meant Miss Linda was gripping only weakly with her other hand, and I threw that one off, going for her toes using my momentum to steer my chair. Those two distractions allowed me to work my hand free of her wrist lock and stab her, over my own head. Remarkably, I was able to tag her directly over the sternum, forcing her to concede the fight as in real life she would have been rather injured.

Following that we were once again short on time, but Sensei asked what I wanted to work on, since he knew I had been having a rough day. I said I wasn't sure, and he went in the back to the room where our supplies are kept and grabbed the last board we had. He told me to go ahead and break it, any way I wanted. It was a board with a knot in it, which are typically much more difficult to break because the grain in the wood is not smooth. Master Eric was not sure if I would be able to break the board, but I was determined to try. I asked Sensei to hold it for me and managed to break it in one strike, with a knife hand. Everyone signed it, and it now sits in my bedroom as yet another trophy. I left feeling very ready to test.

More soon,

Misha

Formal Training Week 20

After Thanksgiving break, there were only two weeks left of classes in the Fall session, meaning of course that we were very close to belt testing. Walking into Equa Do following the long weekend I knew my training would be intensifying in order to prepare me for my test, but it did so in a way I had never expected.
Thanksgiving weekend had not been an easy one for me mentally, and the stress of being close to finals week at school meant I needed some time to just chill with Sensei and Erin when I got to Equa Do on Thursday.

 However, one of the instructors at the school had other ideas. While Sensei was caught up in looking at training tools in a catalog, and Master Eric, Master Markus and Anthony were too caught up in conversation to notice, Miss Linda came up behind me and caught me in a chokehold. Not expecting it, I responded slower than typical. She then proceeded to tighten the choke to the point where my chair was pulled past its center of gravity. This forced me to split my attention between repelling my attacker and avoiding injury. Instinct took over when Miss Linda tried to gain control of my head and I bit her hand when she got too close. Shortly after that was when I realized I would not win the sparring match and I yelled out to Sensei for help, but no one responded. I fought unsuccessfully for a few more minutes and then Miss Linda released me.
She was very sharp with me about two things: The fact that I bit, and the name that I had used to get my teacher's attention. In the style of martial arts Miss Linda teaches, she does not advocate biting an opponent because of the risk of illness. However, given my limited mobility, Sensei and Master Eric and Anthony have advocated biting as a last resort for if someone is close to taking control of my head or cutting off my airsupply. Biting creates enough distraction that an opponent will let go, giving me a chance to retake control of the situation. And as for the term I use to refer to my instructor, Sensei is a Japanese term, and Hapkido is not Japanese but Korean. This is why Miss Linda became so upset. However the Korean term for teacher is long and complicated so SENSEI is the one who told me to call him that. When I told Miss Linda that she got Sensei's attention and began to chew him out for improper teaching.

Hearing Sensei disciplined like that was awful and the anxiety it created combined with the stress of what Miss Linda had done to produce a full fledged panic attack. My mother used chokeholds at least twice that I can remember to discipline me when she felt I had spoken out of turn. I went into a flashback of those experiences as a result. It took Sensei quite a while to calm me down, and even when I had calmed down I was so shaken I refused to train.

When I finally did calm down, we warmed up with jumping jacks and our usual stretches, practicing strike reps on a few soft targets stacked one on top of the other. Once I had finished my strikes I was asked to assist Erin in learning the ones Sensei had not covered yet. We didn't go for perfection, moving on once she had the basic idea behind each strike. Sensei also had me get out my weapon at that time, and work on the eight point strike sequence I had recently mastered. I showed this to Anthony, who was very pleased, and also demonstrated my modified Brush Trap Strike for him as well. While demonstrating this, I followed up Brush-Trap-Strike with a hammer strike out of instinct, sending Anthony sprawling to the mat, and amusing Sensei.

The new material for the night included two new strikes, Panther's Paw (essentially a knuckle strike) and the thumb gouge which is exactly what it sounds like. Both are meant for soft targets. Then Sensei went and got two training knives and tossed me one. The revelation that I was ready to begin blade work excited me, especially because I was beginning to work on it about six months or so ahead of schedule. He reviewed proper technique for disarming an opponent wielding a knife, as well as knife safety, before showing me the eight point cut sequence for knife work. This is essentially the same thing as the one for my cane except each cut is actually a double slash to ensure penetration. The sequence also concludes with a jab to the soft target just under the ribcage.

We did a bit of sparring with the knife, so that I could learn to avoid slicing myself with my own weapon. Also covered were where to slice on an opponent to render them ineffective and how to allow the opponents momentum to make cuts for you. (Place blade along inside of arm as opponent punches.)

At this point it was time to end class for the evening, as the panic attack I suffered ate into class time, so we bowed out and left.

More soon,

Misha

"Formal" Training Week 19

Week 19 of my formal training fell on Thanksgiving, so there was no actual class. However, Sensei's family is struggling financially and unable to do it there. They got invited elsewhere, but Sensei was uncomfortable attending due to family tensions. As a result he accepted an invitation to spend Thanksgiving with me.

He arrived around one thirty, and we sat and talked while waiting for dinner to be done. We had both chosen to wear our doboks, as they are extremely comfortable and being in mine helps me stay calmer because for me it is connected with the focus the martial arts requires. Tensions between me and Chad's mom were running a bit high, and I did not appreciate her badmouthing me to Sensei or badmouthing the martial arts in general. By the time the table had been cleared I was upset and in definite need of a cool down so we took a walk outside.

I literally broke down crying, as the realization that the man who is like a father to me was only able to shield me for a few hours hit me full force. Once he got me distracted and calmed down we came back inside. He took me to my bedroom that I shared with Chad to warm up and finish calming down.

After we ate dessert, Sensei took me through strike reps and basic techniques to provide the sense of routine my anxiety so desperately needs. We did a little bit of sparring to help me deal with anger and tension. So even on Thanksgiving, I got my training hour in. :)

I was more than ready to get out of my chair at that point and so Chad, Sensei and myself went back into the bedroom and watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, Top Secret Recipe, and Trick My What? The night finished off with me falling asleep in Sensei's lap following a wrestling match, while the boys played Street Fighter IV.

Not exactly the most traditional Thanksgiving, but definitely an enjoyable one.

Hope yours was too.

Misha

Board Break Week 18

As I said in my previous post, Sensei had me work on something in class that required skill, but also was a revisitation of a skill I had shown before. As a motivator, he chose to have me break another board. All he had told me prior to going to get it was "What once took you many strikes, I now wish to see you accomplish in one". Kind of cryptic but that's Sensei for you. His meaning became abundantly clear, however, once I saw what he was planning to have me do.

Over the summer when I helped out at Gurnee Days, Miss Linda talked me into breaking a board in order to improve my self confidence. It was something that I struggled with, as I had trouble understanding the concept of striking through, or past, the board. It took me around thirty or so attempts to break the board, and I was determined that would not be the case this time.

Sensei held the board just as Miss Linda had done, though instead of using a vertical hold he held it horizontally and asked me to use a downward hammer strike. I nodded, took a deep breath, and...

WENT THROUGH THE BOARD IN A SINGLE STRIKE!

I was a bit shocked to say the least. As with my original board break, I was so focused I did not really see it break, and because board breaks should not hurt if they are done properly I didn't feel much either. It only registered because a small crack was heard. Even Sensei, who was holding the board for me, said he had not been aware of the board breaking and only realized it when he found two pieces of wood in his hands instead of one.

Everyone signed the board as usual, and it now sits in my room as a trophy. Here are pics.

Love,

Misha

Formal Training Week 18

As you knew thanks to my previous post, I was struggling with my depression. That continued into last week and when I got to Equa Do I was so mentally exhausted I almost opted out of training. I wasn't very talkative before class and pushed away Sensei and Erin. Sensei knew how I felt and convinced me that a night of training might help, so we warmed up.

The week before this one, I had demonstrated skill in all of my strikes but revealed my tiger's maw and tiger's claw strikes to be particularly powerful. In response Anthony and Sensei suggested basic Iron Hand training. This would involve deadening the nerves in my fingertips slightly and forming callouses. I worked at that for a bit, and then was asked to run through strike repetitions. I started to, but then lost my focus and motivation. Sensei believes this is due in part to how much training I do on my own time.

In order to give me a break from the monotony and show me how far I have come in my training, Sensei had me do an exercise I have done in the past, but demonstrate improved skill. That, however, will have its own blog post.

Master Eric came over at this point and Sensei said he would like me to have a formal sparring match. At first I suspected he meant that he would spar with me, and Master Eric was there to referee so to speak. Boy was I wrong. When I asked who I was to be partnered with it was Master Eric who stepped forward. Needless to say I was a bit nervous. He is a fifth degree black belt after all.

We began our sparring match circling warily and Master Eric struck out first. I attempted to use brush trap strike but he is much too fast and I was forced to modify the technique. I linked my arm through his and yanked his elbow to a bent but immobilized position against my shoulder. Because I am at a lower vantage point pulling and locking him in this position gives me full access to his head with my other hand and I landed several blows successfully, including a few to his ribs and sternum as well. Master Eric kept striking for my head when he could and made several efforts to get behind my chair where I could not retaliate as easily, but I repeatedly either twisted out of his grip or allowed him to get behind me and then ran over his feet. One chokehold he did was moderately successful, and he was able to start moving me toward a wall at high speed, with the intent of simulating ramming me if I could not break free. However, I was successful and Master Eric conceded the match at that point, earning me a victory.

Just because I was victorious once however, didn't mean the sparring match was not without its own lesson. I had responded to the moving choke too slowly for Master Eric's liking and he requested that I work on it with Sensei. I did but not for very long as class was almost over. We discovered that I am able to use the momentum of my chair, an off handed push and my body weight combined to wrench my chair away from my attacker and usually run over his foot in the process forcing him to let go. I did this with Sensei and indeed ran over his foot, nearly breaking his toe.

Once that happened Sensei decided it was time we bowed out and class was finished.

More soon,

Misha